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LIFESTYLES:
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DEFINITION OF A SWINGER:First, what does "swinging" actually mean? Well, it's not the same as swapping because lots of swingers (both men and women) are single, and therefore have no-one to swap.
A good definition might perhaps be "recreational sex". Swingers are NOT "perverts", and despise sex crime with probably even more passion than the
rest of the population.
There are all kinds of swingers, indulging in all kinds of different
activities. It's also fair to say that all swingers tolerate all others'
pleasures, even if they don't share them (or quietly disapprove of them).
The Swingers World is a friendly, tolerant world
VARIETIES OF SWINGERS
:There are people who like parties
There are "full-swaps" between couples (which can be in the same room, or in different rooms, or even at separate times)
There are couples where one, or both partners are bi-sexual
There are "soft swingers" who draw the line
at a bit of fondling, or even just flirtation
There are couples who only meet singles, male or female
There are exhibitionists, who enjoy an audience
There are fetishists, who like particular clothing, or spanking, or whatever
There are people who enjoy sex with anonymous total strangers
There are people who enjoy the social aspects, making new friends: sex first, friendship afterwards. It happens a lot!
Many people call themselves swingers but are actually voyeurs who don't
actually swing at all.. They just like the lifestyle, or perhaps enjoy watching.
In summary, swinging is for (mostly) heterosexual people who enjoy sex for
its own sake, as opposed to purely within one relationship. Sex is a hobby.
DO�S AND DON�TS REGARDING SWINGING:A few important things:
1. Firstly, no-one should swing unless they really want to.
2. No-one should EVER go into it if they are at all uncertain of their own
wishes, or of the strength of their emotional relationship with their partner.
3. Swinging can (and often does) strengthen couples' attachment to one
another. But equally, it can - and does - wreck relationships. If you can't discuss it openly between yourselves - or if one partner keeps bringing it up - you almost certainly shouldn't go there.
4. The women are ALWAYS in charge of any situation. No-one ever gets bullied or pushed, and all male swingers will protect them against unwelcome advances
5. No ALWAYS MEANS NO. Swinging is about freedom, not about obedience (unless you like that sort of thing!).
IMPORTANT
:If you have children always try and swing when they are not around whenever possible, even if that means going to a hotel for the night or a swingers club for a few hours, but if the above is not possible, NEVER do anything sexual in whatever form it may be where they could see or hear this happen.
Children are very fickle and seeing or hearing their mother or father with someone else could confuse them, plus they shouldn't be seeing or hearing such things in the first place, give them the respect that they deserve, plus no-matter how well you know the people you are swinging with how far would you trust them in this day and age.
Safe sex.... All swingers say they always practise it, but in reality, most
probably don't. So there is always some kind of health risk, however careful
you are (condoms are no protection against crabs, for instance).
It is for you to make your own judgement.. But no-one will ever complain if you choose to be super-careful. And it is a fact that sexually-transmitted diseases are far more common among teenagers than among swingers.
Hygiene and good behaviour are a must, in all circumstances. If you are at all unclean, pushy, arrogant, or (if male) pissed, you will be slung out of
wherever you are, and the word about you will spread fast. It's a big
community (maybe 3 million people in the US, and growing fast), but it's very
tight-knit.
WHERE TO START
:So, how to start? All swingers have a "profile" - a brief published
description of themselves and what they're looking for (if they know yet!) plus a few pictures which they are willing to risk in the big wide world.
No-one is likely to want to meet you without some idea of what you
are like. You needn't show your face, but you will get more responses if you
do. One compromise is to put up some "anonymous" body shots, plus a
separate, respectable portrait pic: then you shouldn't be embarrassed. If
your neighbours see your face on any website, then hey, they're
swingers too.
You can place an ad, saying what you're looking for, or you can reply to
someone else's ad (or profile). Most people will want to meet you at least
briefly and socially before anything serious occurs, so it's a good idea to
contact people who are local to you. If some bloke has travelled from
New York and turns out to be awful, you'll feel guilty about it. Or you should.
It is generally NOT a good idea to swing with friends, unless you met them through swinging: even then, many swingers have a "one-hit" rule, so
emotional complications/attractions can't arise.
Another good way of meeting others is at clubs.They are generally free to join for couples, and good value for single men. They are not in any way threatening or seedy or illegal, no-one will push you into anything, or expect anything of you, or stare at you, or whisper about you. No, not even the women! Beginners are always welcomed, and treated very gently by the rest of the community.
You can say hello to people, or make eye contact, or smile, without it being construed as an invitation. No-one should ever touch you unless you have made it very plain that they are welcome to do so. It does sometimes happen, tentatively (usually through misunderstanding), and the right way to cope with it is simply to remove the hand and quietly say "no".
When you do meet someone you think you might like, be frank about what you like or don't like, and demand the same from the person or people you meet.
If you don't like them for any reason, just politely turn them down. If YOU
get turned down, don't be offended.. You will be just what someone,
somewhere, is looking for. This is all about people's right to do absolutely
what they like, and do nothing they don't like.
You should ALWAYS reply promptly to any e-mails you get, even if just to say "no thanks". It is not a good idea to be too free with your phone number until you know who you're dealing with.
You should not worry AT ALL about your age, or appearance. (And for that matter, it is seriously Not Done to comment on anyone else's, even to your friends/partner. Tolerance, remember?)
Swingers are all ages from 16 to 80, though most are in their 20s-40s. Some are drop-dead gorgeous, but the vast majority aren't. We're just ordinary people. Size doesn�t matter. Large or small, tall or short, thin or pleasantly plump, you won't be at all out of place.
SINGLE MEN:A word about (and for) single men: very few of them are actually single, in
the legal sense anyway, (and a lot of "couples" are in fact not legally attached to each other either). Most people don't care either way. Some couples prefer "single" men who are actually safely attached elsewhere.
As a group, single men tend to be the most difficult to deal with, since
some of the younger and less experienced ones can adopt an arrogant
attitude. But equally most of them are delightful (the bad ones get found
out quickly). Just go carefully, until you know. In general, swingers tend
to be above average intelligence.
Lots of couples are happy to play with single guys. it doesn't imply that
the woman is dissatisfied with the man, or a slut, or that the man is some
kind of wimp. For one thing, it's easier to find a single man than it is to
find a couple that both partners fancy equally.
Also, most women are capable of lots of orgasms, and many
husbands/boyfriends are happy to lay on the means for them to achieve it..
It's a loving thing, and doesn't mean the woman is under-valued by her
partner: quite the reverse. It's like letting someone have a go on your new
motorbike: you don't mind them trying it, but they sure as hell they can't keep it.
YOUR PROFILE:Most single guys spoil their chances by not giving enough information about themselves: one line e-mails are nearly always just binned, and the same goes for cock pictures.
If you think yours is impressive, by all means show it, but the lady is going to be far more interested in your face and your character.
So: That's just a quick run-down. If you have any other questions about
anything, post them here on our Forum, and some friendly soul will answer
them pronto.
And if you decide to go ahead and try the lifestyle: enjoy yourself!
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