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Assess the situation before you embark. Is it large or small? Somewhere in between? How about it’s shape– is it curved or straight arrow? Does your hand completely engulf it? Explore every square inch of his genital area.

Slowly wrap your hand around his penis, being firm yet gentle. Let your fingers run from his testicles to the head of his penis. The movements should be swift and smooth without bumping or stalling. Tease the more sensitive areas of the penis, including the glans, corona, and frenulum.

Bring your palm up to the top of the glans and park it there flat out, fingers held together and stiff, thumb pointed straight out. Spin it around as if you were trying desperately to remove the tight lid of a jar.

Now bring your fingers together in a makeshift goosehead formation or open fist. Very lightly, begin to stroke his erection with your fingers, running them over the sensitive parts of the shaft.

About this time the penis will probably start to emit it’s natural lubricant. Pre-seminal fluid is nature’s way of moistening the canal of the urethra so that the semen can swim more easily out of it. If there is no pre-cum, don’t worry. It isn’t required and doesn’t always appear.

160 Galen notes female hysteria can be relieved by massage a woman’s genital area

385 Jovinian was excommunicated by the Pope for arguing that marriage was superior to celibacy.

500 The Kama Sutra, a sacred Hindu text describing 156 sexual positions, is written by a divinely inspired virgin.

600 Justinian’s wife entertains guests by having geese peck seeds off her genitals

April 25, 1227 Ulrich von Lichtenstein started his incredible journey from Venice to Austria dressed as the female goddess Venus, challenging in a jousting battle every man enroute. He did this in the service of a woman who continually scorned him. Three centuries later this journey served as the basis for the satire, Don Quixote de la Mancha.

1453 Turkish Sultans start the first harems; they house up to 300 concubines

1559 Italian anatomist Matteo Realdo Colombo claims to have discovered the clitoris.

1677 Using his homemade microscope, Dutch scientist Antonie van Leeuwenhoek discovers sperm.

c. 1774 Giovanni Giacomo Casanova is expelled from a seminary when tales of his sexual exploits get around.

1829 Arguing that a spicy diet could tempt young men to masturbate, Dr. Sylvester Graham invented the wholesome inoffensive cracker that still bears his name.

1847 Goodyear discovers a way to vulcanize rubber, leading to the production of rubber condoms

1873 U.S. Congress passes the Comstock Act allowing the post office to seize articles of obscenity.

1883 The term lesbian is first used to describe a homosexual woman. Prior to this the word had been associated with fellatio, as it was said that the women of Lesbos were without peer in this regard.

1897 An American inventor patented a chastity belt that had a metal shield covering the abdomen and was held together by a lock in the back

1898 John Harvey Kellogg invents corn flakes in hopes of preventing masturbation. His brother Keith takes the idea, adds sugar and makes millions off Kellogg’s Corn Flakes.

1911 The first electrical dildo was sold

1912 The word “brassiere” was noted by the Oxford dictionary. Mary Phelps Jacobs patented the first bra.

1918 In Marie Stopes’ book, Married Love, the woman’s right to orgasm was promoted.

1928 The first lesbian novel, The Well of Loneliness, was published by Radclyffe Hall.

1930 Thin latex condom are introduced, replacing bulky, tire-grade rubber sheaths. Suddenly sex feels almost

1935 The Nazis passed a law outlawing not specific sex acts, but any sex act that respectable people might find improper

1947 Japanese prostitutes pioneer the breast implant. To lure higher-paying American GIs, they inject their bosoms with saline, goat’s milk, and even paraffin wax.

1950 Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg discovers the G spot.

1953 Playboy hits the stands, with a cover photo of Marilyn Monroe. Free-spirited publisher Hugh Hefner didn’t put an issue number on the cover, figuring the thing would be a one-shot deal.

1960 Rueben Struman invents the private peep-show booth with a coin-operated projector.

1960 FDA approves the pill

1962 Plastic surgeons Thomas Cronin and Frank Gerow perform the first breast implant surgery.

1965 Barbara Eden wasn’t allowed to show her belly button on I Dream of Jeannie

1966 The one piece, battery powered, vibrating dildo was patented. This was to become the best-selling dildo of all time.

1970 Penthouse magazine is the first to show pubic hair

1972 Linda Lovelace becomes the first true porn star, thanks to her dramatic turn in Deep Throat, the most successful adult film of all time.

1974 First penile implant is performed on a 70 year old Russian man

1980 Dr. Ruth’s Sexually Speaking debuts and radically changes the way Americans view and discussed sex

1987 Ilona Staller, a.k.a. porn star Cicciolina, campaigns topless and wins a seat in Rome’s parliament. However, she soon decides to leave politics, preferring the relatively moral world of pornography to that of elected government.

1997 Real Dolls-custom-built love mannequins with lifelike eyes, hair, and skin-begin selling for more than $4,000.

1998 Viagra is invented.

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10. Sexual Armor– A jacket with leather pants which supports a large piece of steel armor. Perforations in the armor allowed urine to escape, yet the bolted, padlocked trapdoor at the rear would have to be opened for other business…

• Slang for Boys
  · abusing yourself
  · beating off
  · feeding the ducks
  · giving yourself a hand
  · hanging out with Rosie Palmer and her 5 sisters
  · jerking off
  · making soup
  · self-love
  · slapping your meat
  · spanking the monkey
  · stroking it
  · sturbing
  · wanking
  · wacking off
  · answer the bone-a-phone
  · batting practice
  · beat off
  · beating the bishop
  · beating the dummy
  · being your own best friend
  · blow your load
  · bludgeon the beefsteak
  · butter your corn
  · calling down for more mayo
  · calling all cum
  · changing your oil
  · charm the cobra
  · choaking charlie ’till he throws up
  · choke your chicken
  · clean the pipes
  · couch hockey for one
  · crank the shank
  · cranking
  · cuff the carrot
  · cuffing the puppy
  · custer’s last stand
  · devil’s handshake
  · diddle
  · dishonorable discharge
  · doodle your noodle
  · do the dew
  · drain the vein
  · dropping stomach pancakes
  · five against one
  · five finger knuckle shuffle
  · flute solo
  · fondle the fig
  · freeing willy
  · getting to know yourself personally in the “biblical sense”
  · ham shank
  · hand job
  · hands on training
  · hand to gland combat
  · hit the ham
  · holding all the cards
  · holding your sausage hostage
  · jackin’ the beanstalk
  · jerk off
  · jerkin’ the gherkin
  · launching the hand shuttle
  · leakin’ the main drain
  · loping your mule
  · making the bald guy puke
  · manual override
  · masonic secret self handshake
  · massage your purple-headed warrior
  · measuring for condoms
  · meeting with Palmala Handerson
  · oiling the pogo stick
  · one handed clapping
  · one man tug-o-war
  · paddle the pickle
  · playing with dick
  · play the skin flute
  · play the stand-up organ
  · plunk your twanger
  · polish the chrome dome
  · popping the purple pimple
  · pull the root
  · pumping for pleasure
  · punchin’ the clown
  · punch the porpoise
  · ride the great white knuckler
  · rolling the fleshy blunt
  · seasonin’ your meat
  · slap boxing the one-eyed champ
  · sloppy joe’s last stand
  · squeeze the cream from the flesh twinkie
  · squeeze the weasle
  · stroke your poker
  · taking a shake break
  · tenderize the meat
  · tickle the elmo
  · wank
  · whip your dripper
  · whipping the one-eyed wonder weasle
  · whizzin’ jizzim
  · wiggling your worm
  · winding the jack in the box
  · wrestling the eel
  · yank my doodle (it’s a dandy)
  · yank off

• Slang for Girls
  · 3 point shot
  · a night in with the girls
  · auditioning the finger puppets
  · beating around the bush
  · brushing the beaver
  · carpet bumping
  · checking for squirrels
  · clam bake for one
  · creamin’
  · coming into your own
  · dialing the rotary phone
  · dousing the digits
  · drilling for oil
  · engaging in safe sex
  · fanning the fur
  · feeding the bearded clam
  · fingerpainting
  · flickin’ the bean
  · flit your clit
  · gagging the clam
  · get a date with slick mittens
  · get to know yourself
  · going mining
  · groping the grotto
  · greasing your hips
  · grissle rub
  · gusset typing
  · hitchhiking south
  · let the fingers do the walkin’
  · manual override
  · muffin buffin’
  · nulling the void
  · paddling the pink canoe
  · pampering the pussy
  · parting the red sea
  · pearl fishing
  · pet the pussy cat
  · polishing the pearl
  · play poker
  · playing with her pineapple
  · pussy soccer
  · riding the unicycle
  · rolling the dough
  · rubbin’ the nubbin
  · soaking the whisker biscuit
  · spelunking
  · spearing the bearded clam
  · squeeze the peach
  · strumming the banjo
  · surfing the channel
  · teasing the tuna taco
  · the virgin’s release
  · tickling the taco
  · tiptoe through the twolips
  · toggling the bit
  · tossing pink salad
  · trolling the bermuda triangle
  · two finger taco tango

   It was not until 1758, when a Swiss physician and advisor to the Vatican, Simon Tissot, published a study called A Treatise on the Diseases Produced by Onanism claiming to prove that masturbation caused insanity, that it was transformed from a sin to an illness. Tissot believed, in fact, that all sexual activity was dangerous; it forced blood to rush to the head and out of other areas in the body, thus causing the nerves and vital tissues to degenerate. We know better now, but it is amazing at how long it took to become open about this intimate topic. Masturbation has been shown to enhance self-confidence, release stress, and allow people to explore their own sexual response cycle.

Here are some interesting facts about masturbation:

• Male Masturbation
  The Fist– In this common technique, you simply wrap your fingers around the shaft of your penis like a baseball bat and rub it up and down. It provides maximum contact between your hand and penis - and more contact means more pleasure. This technique is especially good if you have a big penis; if it isn’t much longer than your fist is wide, you won’t be able to stroke it very far, so another grip might be more effective.

  The Belly-Scratch– Lay on your back in comfortable position. Lube up your penis and lay it back against your stomach. Curl your fingers lightly around the top half of the shaft and stroke the length of the penis. Don’t encircle the penis with your hand–just rub the top half with your fingers and let the lower half rub against your belly.

  The Five-Finger– In this technique, your hand and arm form an angle with your penis, with four fingers on top of the shaft at a diagonal and your thumb below. This allows you to get more control over the hand-to-penis contact, and it lets you move your hand along the entire length of the shaft, even if your penis isn’t very large.

  The Rubdown– This is simply placing the penis on or against something and then rubbing the penis against it until orgasm. The simplest is to simply roll over on your stomach and rub your penis on the mattress. Variations include placing it between a pillow and mattress, between two pillows, in a pile of clothes, in the crevice between the sofa frame and cushions, between the mattress and box springs, and similar places.

  The Three-Finger– This one is good if you have a smaller penis. Simply hold the penis as you would a pen or a pencil. This grip allows maximum control and maximum distance of motion (from the base of the penis all the way to the head), but the hand-to-penis contact is less than with the other grips.

  The Backhand– This one -kind of a backwards version of the “fist”- is a little funny, but it feels very good. This time, grab your penis from the left side rather than the right (if you’re right-handed). To do this, rotate your wrist so your thumb is pointing down; you may have to pull your penis slightly to the side. It’s a little awkward at first, but it’s an excellent grip to use when you just want to try something other than the “Fist” for a few minutes.

• Female Masturbation
  The Squeeze– Some women find that they are able to masturbate by squeezing their thighs together and releasing. The advantage of this is that it can be done more discretely than by digital manipulation, and frees up the hands for other things.
  Note: You have to be pretty amped-up in first place for this one to work… but when it does, it does!

  Detach Showerhead– Using a plastic showerhead that attaches onto the tub faucet, detach showerhead from the hose and send steady water stream onto the clitoris. Try covering the hose so the water intensity changes.
  Note: This one works with any water source (i.e. jacuzzi tubs), just be careful because the water comes at you with force!

  Circular Rub– Just take your first two fingers from either hand and place them over top of you clitoris. Then begin moving them in a circular motion over top of the clitoris. You can vary the speed and pressure easily with this technique. If you want to change the feel slightly just add your favorite lube and everything becomes very slippery.

• Male Masturbation
  Every successful masturbation session begins with an erection– when your penis fills with blood to the point that it becomes larger and firm to the touch, usually sticking straight out from your body or angled upward as you stand.
  Once your penis has reached its full length and hardness, take a hold of it and rub it lengthwise at a consistent rate. It will also allow you to concentrate on the good feelings masturbation produces, so you can refine your technique for maximum pleasure.

  Some guys like to masturbate with lubrication between their hand and penis, while others don’t. If you’re uncircumcised, you have some extra skin on your penis to move up and down along the shaft, and you can simply grab on firmly and pump away, rolling the sleeve of skin that covers your penis back and forth over the shaft. This will cause your foreskin to move back and forth across the head of your penis, producing a great feeling. However, even some uncircumcised guys prefer the feeling of a little lubrication between the head of the penis and the foreskin.

  One common form of lubrication is spit, but you’ll have to use a lot of it if you want really good lubrication, and some people just don’t produce that much saliva. Another method is to masturbate in the shower or bathtub with soap or shampoo.

  We do not recommend using soap or shampoo as a lube as it can sting if it gets into the hole (the urethral opening) at the end of your penis.
  Petroleum jelly also works, but it’s greasy and tough to cleanup; plus, since it’s so thick, Vaseline may not allow your hand to move as fast as you want. Baby oil works, but it is messy to clean up and leaves stains. Hand lotion is popular and works well; it cleans up fairly easily, is slippery, lasts long, and lets you go as fast as you want.

• Female Masturbation
  Female masturbation. Double-clicking your mouse. It’s a touch subject-really! Now to the point… when people first learn how to masturbate, they do so by stimulating themselves with their hands.

  Women obtain an orgasm through stimulation (direct or indirect) of the clitoris. For women, the clitoris can be stimulated in many ways. Therefore, a basic approach to masturbation is to stimulate your clitoris with your finger.

  You can start by thinking sexual thoughts while you rub your clitoris; experiment with different strokes or speeds to see which feels most stimulating. As you get more excited, your vagina will become moist and lubricated; you can use this fluid to rub your clitoris more easily. You also might want to touch other parts of your body with your free hand. Massage your breasts, squeeze your nipples … let your hand do what you fantasize your dream lover doing. If something doesn’t work, try varying the intensity, frequency, and pressure.

  There are three main types of masturbation: manual stimulation involving the hands, water stimulation involving showers and jacuzzi jets, and auxillary stimulation, involving dildos, vibrators, and other sexual toys.

  Immense pleasure can be obtained from water flowing onto the clitoris. Bathtub faucets, shower heads (particularly those made for “massage” purposes), and even Jacuzzi jets all contain moments of ecstasy.

  For water stimulation, try to position yourself so that the water filling the tub is flowing right on your vulva and brace yourself for a truly intense, erotic experience.

  How do you know if you have had an orgasm if you’ve never had one before? An orgasm is technically defined as a sudden release of tension involving involuntary and pleasurable muscle contractions. If your body starts moving in ways that you were not intending, while waves of pleasure surge throughout your body, you’re probably having an orgasm; it can be both physically and emotionally intense and ecstatic, let yourself feel every physical and emotional release that an orgasm allows you.